T Minus 3 Days!!!! A Lesson In Friendship

The other day in my "FaceBook Annual Review" I came across something very profound. So much so that I have spent the last few days really considering the words and the weight of their truth. Joel Osteen wrote the following in one of his daily devotions:

Choose Your Friends Wisely

 

“…Do not throw your pearls before swine” (Matthew 7:6, NAS). 

Do you realize you have treasure on the inside of you? You could say that your pearls are what God has given you to be a blessing to the world around you—your gifts..., talents and abilities. When you get around true friends, people who really believe in you, they won’t be jealous of your gifts. They won’t constantly question who you are. They won’t try to talk you out of your dreams. It will be just the opposite. They’ll help you polish your pearls, develop your pearls, enhance your pearls, and grow your pearls. In other words, they’ll give you ideas. They’ll connect you with people they know. They’ll help push you further along. If you stay around people who don’t value your gifts nor appreciate what you have to offer, that’s casting your pearls among swine. Your inner circle, those who are closest to you, should be people who celebrate who you are; people who are happy when you succeed. They should be people who believe the very best in you. Remember, it’s not the quantity of friends that’s important, it’s the quality of friends. Choose your friends wisely so you can be all that God has called you to be. 

WOW! Right?

  

I just want to acknowledge the fact that being able to have support from those who truly value you and your being is essential in this life. It's not just cliche to say "no man is an island", we truly cannot survive in this life alone. I have been blessed with some of the greatest people in my circle (so much so I have to ask myself at times what did I do to deserve such favor). It is because of my friends and those that have truly supported me that I have been able to maintain my sanity at times. It is because of my friends who have "called me on the carpet" and held me accountable for my words and actions that I have been able to deal with issues and become a better me.

Thank you to each of you (I dare not mention names for fear of leaving one of the five of you out. LOL) Please know that I love you and appreciate you more than I could ever express. Whether I've known you a lifetime or 6months, 10 years or since I was 10, met you in school or in cyberspace, spend holidays with you or worship with you...God couldn't have blessed me with a better system of support. 

T Minus 7 days!!! - What do you really look like?

"Introspection can return a reflection that bears no resemblance of the mental image that we carry of ourselves."

In honor of my birthday, every year I take inventory of my life. I evaluate every aspect and leave no area unturned.  Do you do that too? I hear that most people reflect in some type of way. Me...I don't just reflect, I dissect every nook and cranny of my being in this intense introspection that usually leaves me speechless to say the least. 

Thanks to the wonderful world of social networking I was able to add to that introspection a complete review of some of my most heartfelt statements, declarations, joys, pain, and subliminal passageways into my inner most thoughts. I pulled my FaceBook time line tonight and went back to last year on this very day. As I scrolled through the words I was amazed at how much growth I've experienced. But if I may be real for a moment, I was also disappointed. Why, you ask? Well, it kinda goes like this...

We all carry around this mental picture of ourselves. The "us" that we strive to be and that we present to others. You know the representative that you send out in public to "act" on your behalf. Then we have that inner person who is somewhat like that mental image however the inner you is the "relaxed and natural -when I'm home with the family or out with the girls" "you". Hmph, we do a good job of "multi-tasking" our personalities don't we? The thing is there's one more level to that...there's the real you. The person who is consumed by all of the other pieces and has to crazy glue the fragments of the shattered emotions that your "mental picture person" couldn't handle.

I was disappointed because when I looked back over some of the words that I shared I could see the very point that my hope had a stroke and the heart monitor began to display weak signs of life. I saw how deeply affected I was by circumstances and situations and how I allowed them to throw me off track. I could see where I lost my voice and began to plan to give the sign to "pull the plug". Yes, at a certain point I let go a little. I stopped fighting. I was so overwhelmed by my reality that my faith had grown weary and weak. I became this feeble minded person that I don't even recognize. 

The humorous side to all of this is that at a certain point I literally thought my page had been hacked because "surely these were not my words".

So, family and friends, as I prepare to close out the 31^st year of my life here is (some of) what introspection has taught me…

1.        I simply can not do this alone. God has blessed me with some wonderful friends that I could not have picked for myself. Thank you to each of you that have held me accountable, encouraged me, prayed for me, challenged me, let me cry, let me be real without ever judging me and most importantly without walking away.

2.        Pride has no place in my process. Strength is revealed through your ability to accept the truth of your situation, breathe through whatever emotion it presents, accept whatever responsibility you have in it and DEAL WITH IT appropriately.

3.        Faith is not something I feel, it’s something I KNOW! Feelings are futile and even when I don’t feel good about my process my confidence has to be in the promise of my future. Heck, if our lives were determined by how we felt about everything we’d all be doomed.

4.        Everything that I can do for someone else I CAN do for myself. My talents, resources, skills, knowledge, and abilities do not only work when I’m working for someone else…they work for me too! (Don’t act like you haven’t been in that place where you can work magic for EVERYBODY ELSE, but when it comes to producing those results for yourself you act like you don’t know what to do. Ok, fine…keep looking like you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

5.        You can have all the talent in the world, but if you DO NOT BELIEVE IN YOUR TALENT your success will go no further than the couch! (And that’s all I have to say about that!)

If you have some time I encourage you to pull your own social networking timelines…I guarantee you you’ll learn some things about yourself. I’d love to hear about them ;-)

T Minus 8 Days...

I don't have a lot to say today. My plans to accomplish a list of tasks didn't quite turn out that way, but I enjoyed my day. In fact, I think I enjoyed it so much that I forgot what day it was. At around 8pm I'm rushing in the house to the television to turn on the game *screeeeeeeech* uhhhh, IT IS NOT SUNDAY!

I hope that everyone has enjoyed their Saturday. At some point I hope that you were able to bring a smile to someone's heart and that your heart was warmed by the feeling of kindness. Maybe tomorrow I'll have more...until then...

Peace and blessings.

P.S. Please feel free to comment on any of the posts or email me your feedback. I would love to hear from you.

T Minus 9 days - Sometimes you have to go back to your roots....

When you need refreshing, uplifting, a reality check...when you need to feel at home, challenged, motivated...sometimes you have to go back to your roots. When things seem to not be going quite right...you're frustrated, tired, and at the point of throwing your hands up....sometimes you have to go back to your roots.

Your roots...that place where you first experienced peace and joy. That place where you realized that you were at your best when you were there. That place that assures you that all may not be well right now but EVERYTHING IS going to be ALRIGHT.

Church is that place for me. My refuge, my fresh shower, my divine massage....and the service that I just attended was JUST what I needed.

Whatever your "roots" place is, when you find yourself in need of that refueling...find it and do not pass go...do not collect $200! I hope that everyone who reads and follows this blog understands that my heart's desire is that everyone be encouraged by something that is read here. All of these words I have lived in some way and I hope that by peering into the "peep hole" of my life you are able to clearly see through the window of your own.

Peace and blessings to you all and thank you for following. Please continue to share with your friends and loved ones...who knows these may be a New York Times Best Seller! (*hint hint)


(*this was posted after midnight, but serves as Friday's post)

T Minus 10 Days!!!! - Labor Pains

I am finally back from my "Florida Tour". Back in South Florida and ready to get on the grind. I recently made some very good connections and had a ginormous creative streak to come over me (thanks to a simple prayer for motivation and 2 God-sent friends) so I am switching my focus from my recent defunct stupor to my "I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me" "get it done" attitude that I normally have when I take on a huge challenge. AND THIS ONE IS HUGE. I can't wait to tell you all about it!

It's funny how when we are in a place where we feel like we don't have enough, or we aren't educated enough, or we aren't tall enough, aren't pretty enough, aren't talented enough....or whatever measure we feel like we don't have enough of...it is in those times when we can come up with some of the greatest ideas that draw on that very place of LACK. And for those of us who are "believers" we know that it's usually those very areas that GOD will require the most of us. HA! Oh, the irony of life.

In the midst of those times where our focus can become a little jaded by our experience we have to bear down and push towards the goal that we have declared as ours. What I have had to learn about the birthing process is that the first sign that you are ready to deliver the baby that you have carried, nourished, cried for, prayed for, laid out plans - picked the best name - decorated the room – bought cute little clothes for, gained 20 pounds for, ate food that you hate for over the past 40 weeks…is the pain and pressure of contractions. This isn’t the time to hold back or shut down, this is the critical moment…the time to give it all you’ve got, call in your “birthing team” to hold your legs and help you breathe because the moment you have been waiting for IS HERE. To shut down at this point would be dangerous and detrimental to the baby’s life as well as yours.

Your birthing process may be quick and easy or long and rough but one must endure the PROCESS in order to deliver the promise. If we quit pushing, stop breathing, and give up we will never experience the joy of the fruits of our labor. So...take a deep breath...bear down...and PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH….this one may be the last one!

My Birthday Wish List

14 days to go! *Does the Cabbage Patch* 

Ok, so most everybody knows that last year marked my 30th year of life! I had been planning for that day since I turned 21. I had my theme, the location was set, I had picked out my party dress, met with the caterers....then I canceled everything! Yes, the day I had been waiting for had been trumped by something else. See, in December 2009 when I went to New York to see the ball drop and ended up not getting to see it because arriving at 10:30pm with the hopes of being behind the zany crowd of drunken tourists turned out to be a bit of a stretch. I mean who would think that the streets had been shut down since like 8 o'clock?!?! Well, at that very moment I made a vow to myself that I would not miss out on anything else that I really wanted to do.

So when it came time for my birthday, the opportunity to work an event hosted by Mary J Blige totally trumped spending an evening with people that I get to see on a regular basis. It would've been fun and all, but this was one of those "once in a lifetime" opportunities and for a person trying to make it in the industry, it would have been STUPID not to do it. So yes, I took the money that I was going to spend and flew to New York to spend an evening amongst some of the industry's greatest talent and highly respected public figures. IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, that said...I still want to celebrate my 30th birthday. So here we are a year later...and I'm having my postponed 30th birthday celebration! I will be celebrating with family and friends from the 16th - 20th at some of my favorite places in the South Florida area. This is not an official invite, but if you are interested in attending please contact me (*whispering* it's going to be a great time! *school girl giggle*)

In the spirit of celebrating me I am listing a few things that I want for my birthday. This is simply my effort to put into the atmosphere what I am hoping for. This is not a formal request to you as readers of this blog...ALTHOUGH any and all gifts are welcome and may be delivered (2217 SW 118th Ave, Miramar, FL 33025) or monetary gifts may be given via PayPal (email address: shante9716@aol.com)!

1. A total of $1200 - Let me tell you why. I have the opportunity to work the American Black Film Festival this year and I am responsible for my own housing for 6 days on Miami Beach. This is another one of those "Last year's Mary J Blige event, Bucket List, You MUST do this" opportunities. (By the way if you have a hotel hook up PLEASE let me know!)
   
   
   
   
   
2.  A day at the Spa - An hour massage w/ a Vichy Shower at Uhma Spa in Miami (http://www.uhmaspa.com/)
   
   
   
   
   
3. Maya Angelou's Great Food All Day Long Cookbook
   
   
   
   
   
4. A really good surprise...NO ONE has ever been able to surprise me EVER! So I would like to have a nice surprise this year. Maybe a visit from an old friend, a sunset boat ride, a shopping experience, a trip to one of my favorite cities....I don't know...I just want to see if someone can surprise me. LOL!
   
   
5. Perfume - Ed Hardy the lighter Pink Bottle, DKNY Be Delicious (Green), Shi
   

Countdown...15days

*Wipes Brow* Whew!!!! So this time I haven't written because I have had A LOT going on. I'm finally catching my breath a bit AND it's 15 days until my big day so I wanted to check in with you.

I recently attended one of the most beautiful Wedding Ceremonies I think I have ever been to in my life. My former roommate used to tell me all the time about weddings like this, but even that didn't prepare me for what I experienced. It was my first REAL African Wedding, not an "African motif" or "African themed wedding" but a REAL African Wedding. My friend and his bride are from Nigeria (as was my former roommate).

This 2-day event included a traditional Nigerian ceremony known as the Engagement Ceremony. Although I have NO EARTHLY IDEA what was said ALL NIGHT (except Praise the Lord, Hallelujah, and Congratulations), I do know they had a GREAT time and partied hard because my sister and I left them still on the dance floor after midnight with at least 3 more items on the program. Technically this event (in their culture) is their wedding, however the second day was a traditional wedding ceremony with a Nigerian remix.

Everyone was dressed in very rich colors. There was color coordination for each family as well as friends. And somewhere there was a money tree I promise...and I'm not talking about the tree that you go pin your dollar bills on as your "gift" to the couple. In the Nigerian culture (maybe all African cultures do this, but I'm just going to play it safe and stick to what I KNOW) when the couple dances family and friends shower them with money. There are people who danced around them with bags that they filled up with the money that fell to the floor around them, then the money was collected in boxes - counted - and *ding* the blessed couple can now take the next year off and never miss a beat! Hey, they're a very generous group of people too...I got a couple of dollars as we did the Wobble to one of the African songs that was played!


Overall it was a great weekend. I saw some friends that I hadn't seen in years. Had some great food. Learned a lot. And had a great time. They say blondes have more fun though! (Yes, that is me with Blonde hair..LOL!)

After that it was on to the next event...my nephew's graduation from High School. *Breaks open the box of kleenex* It was so surreal. My little A.J....graduating. WOW! Time really does move pretty fast and I guess I know how people feel when they look at me now that I've grown up. I'm so proud of him though. He's one of my favorite people on earth. I still can't believe he is about to go to college. *Sniff sniff*

In the midst of all of this celebration there were a few tragic things that happened that I won't go into detail about, but I will say this...LIFE GOES ON. Usually it's all up to you how you proceed. After the celebrations are over, caskets are closed, curtains have come down...there is more life to live beyond that moment. CHOOSE LIFE!