A Love-Hate Relationship

The relationship that we have with our money is one that we don’t often think about. We don’t notice how we treat it or evaluate our thoughts in dealing with it. We often talk of what we would do with it if we had more, rarely including any form of giving or charity but most often reflecting our pure selfish desires. Someone once said the way that you treat your money is an indication of how you feel about yourself. (Just say ouch…right??) We haven’t all been blessed with [even the remnants of] Oprah’s bank account where we can afford to take 300 + people on international vacations…and that’s not important. What’s important is that we are able to lead life with the same type of heart; that we value the little things and learn how to bless those around us. We are better people because of our heart to do for others.

I was listening to the song Billionaire (Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars) and it prompted me to write this (somewhat humorous but very serious) letter to my bank account. I’m not saying you should take to writing your own, I’m just asking…have you thought about your relationship with your money?

Dear bank account,

Over the years we have had a very trying relationship. I have not always kept the promises that I made in the beginning although my intentions were always good. I admit that at times I was very selfish and I took from you to satisfy a frivolous desire when you really just wanted to make sure that I was taken care of long term. And for that I say thank you.

I know that at times I put you at risk and then threw a fit because my irresponsibility jeopardized us both. Even when I thought I could avoid hurting you by creating a diversion so that by the time you felt the blow of my open hand the flowers would have already arrived…the flowers would arrive too late.

So I pen this letter to you today to apologize for my years of habitual abuse and to say that I have matured tremendously. I now can respect your intentions and see how our goals truly do mirror each other. I see you as more than just a safe place but as a partner in my life, my teammate who will continue to work to achieve the goals that we set together and will put in overtime to support my personal endeavors. I did not know how to appreciate your generosity and I am truly remorseful that I wasted so many good years with you.

As we move forward I want you to know that my desire is to fill your vessel with abundance so that together we can open up our arms to hopefully help others to achieve the stability that we have. Now don’t get me wrong, we will have fun along the way spending quality time alone. I can see us now strolling along the Bahamian Beaches, snorkeling in Samoan waters, taking in the culture of International Coasts and satisfying our soul’s desires. Together let’s make a name for ourselves as the duo that made a difference. I don’t want to keep our riches to just us…let’s supersede the charitable efforts of even Donald Trump (but let’s not tell anyone).

I’m so excited about and hopeful for our future. Thank you for hanging in there with me. 

Peaks & Valleys

So after I wrote the last post I experienced a calm that was truly divine. Much like a father does, it was like God let me have my little tantrum while all the while He was preparing a blessing for me. As I went through the next week and a half I also realized something about myself…I AM A CHRONIC OVER ACHIEVER.

*Gasp* *Waits for the crowd to settle*

YES! I am constantly looking for more from myself so much so that I will flat out have anxiety about the slightest things. I mean, I literally could stress over choosing the right type of red cocktail napkin for a Super Bowl Party. In my effort to be the best and do my best I can often stress and become a bystander damaged by my own emotions.  

In those times when we find ourselves getting discouraged, overwhelmed, upset, anxious, etc. we have to learn how to take a step back and see a situation for what it is. It is natural for us to experience stress at some point, but sometimes our emotions are not warranted. Knowing when to let go, walk away, or just simply be still is just as important and essential as your zeal to succeed. Some things work themselves out and your stressing over them won’t change anything other than your blood pressure.

And honey…IT IS SO NOT THAT SERIOUS!

The journey that we are on to live out our purpose comes with some peaks and valleys that could possibly make the Grand Canyon look like flat terrain. But your ability to endure, embracing and learning from every mistake along the way, is what keeps you climbing. After a while you will realize that your current position is the peak of your last valley…and in looking back you’ve already accomplished greatness just by staying on the path.

Learn to celebrate your little victories along the way. If you waited until you reached your mountain top to pat yourself on the back your focus will only be on the fact that you made it to the top thereby overshadowing the fact that you weathered a storm, conquered a fear, learned a new skill, sacrificed your very life, gained strength, developed confidence, and overcame that looming habit of giving up. Each step has been a victory that makes the accomplishment of reaching your final destination intimately divine and full of purpose.

  So go ahead….take the next step. 

 

A Moment of Transperancy

Hey everybody!

Just wanted to check in and give you an update. This candid, unscripted, unedited version of my journey is brought to you by pure emotion and is underwritten by trial and circumstance.

Today I'm tired. I simply want to throw in the towel. I have lost more than I wanted to lose, I have given more than I've had to give, I have sacrificed on credit...I'M DONE! Yes, the optimistic, motivational, inspirational...I'll go at all costs - ME is having a moment. The tears flow even as I type these words.

What's wrong you say?

I am in a place that we have all found ourselves at times. I'm on the road of promise...clearly the light is green yet I'm stuck in the middle of the intersection on reality boulevard and the gas in my vehicle of hope is on "E". The whole time I'm sitting here praying for two things 1) that I don't give out of gas before I can cross the street and 2) that whatever is blocking me will move before the light changes and I get plowed by the unyielding Stress Utility Vehicle that keeps blowing it's horn at me.

So what do I do? I start blowing my "horn" in frustration (as though that's really going to solve anything). But as I do, I also whisper a prayer...

Lord, please help me to hold out. If I can just get past this road block...please God, don't let my hope fail. Honestly, I'm afraid and I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but I'm trusting You to help me endure.

A lot of people don't like to talk about how frightening and unsure, lonely and disappointing this process can be. But allow me to bless you with the truth...opportunity not only costs, it's EXPENSIVE; and most times it comes at the expense of all that is SURE in your life. Everything becomes muddled and you have this looming sense of falling into the black whole of failure.

I'm still determined though. Just thought I'd give you a bit of truth to let you know I'm still human.