The Truth About Transition...

Well, it has definitely hit me...and to my surprise it wasn't the lights, the sounds of the subway or the cool weather that gave me that dose of reality. It was the massive feeling of loneliness that I felt about 2 weeks after being here. Loneliness you ask? YES! Loneliness! In the midst of a city where thousands of people are around you at any given time it can be overwhelmingly isolating when you don't have a "place" in its existence.

Nobody tells you when you get ready for major transition in your life “brace yourself, it gets lonely out there”. I mean we’ve heard it before, but usually only in theory. The truth of the matter is it is a harsh reality. Loneliness can get the best of you when you are taking on a great change in your life. Be it a new job, a new school, moving out for the first time, taking a journey across the globe, or moving to a big city with more options than you count where so much is going on that surely the thought of being lonely is preposterous...brace yourself you are not exempt.

As I traipse around this city and build my life I have had some absolutely awesome times. But I admit that the loneliness hit hard. I wasn’t ready to pack up and head home by any means, but I realized that while I was walking around in the midst of all of these people I WAS ALONE. I felt like the new girl in school, awkwardly walking about trying not look out of place, waiting for the lunch bell to ring to meet up with at least one familiar face. As the days turn to weeks and the weeks have now exceeded a month, I meet new people just about everyday and slowly the loneliness fades.

I'm still finding my footing, but I can definitely say that this move was in no way a mistake. Have you ever just “felt” good about something? I mean you just knew with everything in you that this was “the right thing”. Moving to New York has been that thing for me.In fact, in the words of my friend, I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment. Before leaving Florida I just knew that this was the time for me to be here. I didn’t know what was so different about now than all the years that I wanted to be here before other than “it just feels right”. And that has proven to be overwhelmingly true. I am enjoying the journey, learning my way around (I still get on the wrong train every now and then) and learning more and more about myself each day.

In the short time that I've been here I have been able to accomplish more than I could over the past year in Florida. It has been one opportunity after another since the day I arrived. A true testament that “when you truly want something the universe conspires to help you achieve it” (if you have not read the Alchemist I STRONGLY suggest you do so QUICKLY). I have taken some pretty uhhh, let’s just say “interesting” risks in my approach, but God has been faithful and the doors are opening. My focus is different, my attitude is positive, my mind is open and I’m moving forward.

Can I just whisper something to you though? I’ve been waiting to tell someone this so I thought I would share it with you. It’ll be our little secret *WINK*. Despite the occasional loneliness and a few “mistakes” here and there...I am the happiest I have been in my adult life.

Welcome to the Jungle...#NYC

 

Moon over 34th St.

I don’t know if it’s hit me yet…I MOVED TO NEW YORK!!!! (Well, I live in New Jersey, but for those who live here or have spent any time here we know it’s ALL the same.)

Wow, I have been trying to get here for God knows how long. Truth be told, I wanted to come here right after college. That was back when I wanted to work on The Today Show, organizing the Toyota Concert Series, when Katie Couric was still there. Yes, I wanted to take on the Big Apple back then, pre-9/11 days when “the jungle” was at its best, but as circumstances would have it (specifically not knowing how to deal with the physical mutation I was experiencing i.e. the loss of my hair)…I didn’t make it. (I’m sure that some of you reading this are questioning why or how the loss of my hair could affect me in such a way…you’ll have to go back and read the first blog entry.)

Oh but now!!!!! I AM NOT MY HAIR…in fact, not having it is apparently REALLY working for me (*take that, take that, take that*). 

So, I’ve been here a week and I feel so at home. That’s why I say I don’t think it’s hit me yet. I have been blessed to have a smooth transition in this move of faith and pursuit of passion. I have a great support system that has opened up their homes, hearts, and network to help propel me forward. I don’t know what I’m looking for to happen exactly for it to “hit me”; maybe it will be one of those snow storms that will inevitably make their way here sooner than my Florida wardrobe is ready for. *rubs hands together* BRING – IT – ON!

I have spent a lot of time getting to know my surroundings and finding my local “life enhancing” facilities…i.e. Wal-Mart, Target, Grocery Stores, Gas Stations, TJ Maxx, Ross…and of course the Train Station. The thing that I love the most is that the foot traffic up here is a way of life and not a consequence of not having transportation so I will take to the pavement here for distances that I wouldn’t dream of walking in Florida. Oh and the “joy” of learning the subway system…let’s just say thank God I have a nice smile otherwise my simple trip downtown to Penn Station could have easily turned into an uptown trip to Harlem. But in my defense from Columbus Circle you’re taking the 1 Train either way…you just better have that whole ‘which side of the street to catch the train on’ thing down.

2 of the jobs that I applied for here prior to my move I didn’t get, but it’s all good. I am more confident that the right opportunities will come my way. I won’t give up, because I know that if I don’t quit I’ll win.

And listen to this anyway…

True story, when I decided that I was going to go for it and move up here within 24 hours of my laying out my plan I received an email from someone that I worked with on an event last year asking me if I could work with him on some upcoming projects. I had not heard from this person in months and in a way that only God could’ve orchestrated he contacted me. We were able to connect recently and work on an event for Fashion Week after which we sat down for a quick “so how’ve you been” session and, again in a way that only God could orchestrate, he says… “I need an Event Manager on my team…blah, blah, blah…and it’s paid…blah, blah, blah…would you be interested?” In my head I was having what Oprah often refers to as a “Hallelujah moment” but in my professional, southern girl way I said “well of course, but only because you’re my friend” complete with a wink. Yes, it’s on! This is only the beginning, but the hustle to “make it in the city” is on. Welcome to the Jungle baby!

Tammi Roman at the B. Abiye Spring Preview

I left Florida with an optimistic mindset that as I continued to pursue my purpose in complete trust that God would allow all of the right doors to open then everything I needed would be available to me. And of course I was holding onto that line from The Alchemist – “when you truly want something the universe conspires together to help you achieve it”. And the past month and a half has truly been evidence of that. I could not make this stuff up. Yet again, I am in no way confused that this is the promise that ‘your gift will make room for you’.

Sheree Whitfield at the B. Abiye Spring Preview

I am so blessed, but I know that it’s only because I trust God beyond what I can see. At times uneasy, but in those times convinced that I am on the right path. As I’m stretched and shaped into the great being that I was created to be I remain conscious that my life has a purpose.

Playing Catch Up

So I know it's been a while since I have posted anything...over a month to be exact...shameful *hides face in hands*. Allow me if you will to play a little catch up.

My birthday...was absolutely AH-MAY-ZING! I had an awesome time and experience during each day that I celebrated. (Traditionally I celebrate my birthday with at least 3-4 days of activities.) Remember that Wish List that I had? Well I got everything...YES EVERYTHING...that I wanted except for item #3. (See Birthday Wish List Here.) And the way that I received item #1 was nothing short of the hand of GOD. I even got a surprise visit from an old friend. This birthday was great! AND might I add that I posted the wish list simply as a declaration of what I wanted...further proof that we have the power to set our atmospheres and manifest our desires.

Fast forward to the American Black Film Festival, July 2-10, 2011 was a pivotal moment in my professional career. If ever you thought that you could trump the plans of God, let me be the one to tell you that you are absolutely out of your mind! There was NO WAY that I was going to miss this event...this was an appointment with destiny. I have worked with a diverse group of people, but when I say that I have NEVER experienced ANYTHING like this I am not exaggerating. To those I worked with who may be reading this, I just want to say that I enjoyed each moment and I am looking forward to next year.

So this was the short version of my life over the last month. More blessings than I can count and ways for me to just simply be amazed by how much God loves me. Thank you for sticking with me on this journey.

T Minus 3 Days!!!! A Lesson In Friendship

The other day in my "FaceBook Annual Review" I came across something very profound. So much so that I have spent the last few days really considering the words and the weight of their truth. Joel Osteen wrote the following in one of his daily devotions:

Choose Your Friends Wisely

 

“…Do not throw your pearls before swine” (Matthew 7:6, NAS). 

Do you realize you have treasure on the inside of you? You could say that your pearls are what God has given you to be a blessing to the world around you—your gifts..., talents and abilities. When you get around true friends, people who really believe in you, they won’t be jealous of your gifts. They won’t constantly question who you are. They won’t try to talk you out of your dreams. It will be just the opposite. They’ll help you polish your pearls, develop your pearls, enhance your pearls, and grow your pearls. In other words, they’ll give you ideas. They’ll connect you with people they know. They’ll help push you further along. If you stay around people who don’t value your gifts nor appreciate what you have to offer, that’s casting your pearls among swine. Your inner circle, those who are closest to you, should be people who celebrate who you are; people who are happy when you succeed. They should be people who believe the very best in you. Remember, it’s not the quantity of friends that’s important, it’s the quality of friends. Choose your friends wisely so you can be all that God has called you to be. 

WOW! Right?

  

I just want to acknowledge the fact that being able to have support from those who truly value you and your being is essential in this life. It's not just cliche to say "no man is an island", we truly cannot survive in this life alone. I have been blessed with some of the greatest people in my circle (so much so I have to ask myself at times what did I do to deserve such favor). It is because of my friends and those that have truly supported me that I have been able to maintain my sanity at times. It is because of my friends who have "called me on the carpet" and held me accountable for my words and actions that I have been able to deal with issues and become a better me.

Thank you to each of you (I dare not mention names for fear of leaving one of the five of you out. LOL) Please know that I love you and appreciate you more than I could ever express. Whether I've known you a lifetime or 6months, 10 years or since I was 10, met you in school or in cyberspace, spend holidays with you or worship with you...God couldn't have blessed me with a better system of support. 

T Minus 7 days!!! - What do you really look like?

"Introspection can return a reflection that bears no resemblance of the mental image that we carry of ourselves."

In honor of my birthday, every year I take inventory of my life. I evaluate every aspect and leave no area unturned.  Do you do that too? I hear that most people reflect in some type of way. Me...I don't just reflect, I dissect every nook and cranny of my being in this intense introspection that usually leaves me speechless to say the least. 

Thanks to the wonderful world of social networking I was able to add to that introspection a complete review of some of my most heartfelt statements, declarations, joys, pain, and subliminal passageways into my inner most thoughts. I pulled my FaceBook time line tonight and went back to last year on this very day. As I scrolled through the words I was amazed at how much growth I've experienced. But if I may be real for a moment, I was also disappointed. Why, you ask? Well, it kinda goes like this...

We all carry around this mental picture of ourselves. The "us" that we strive to be and that we present to others. You know the representative that you send out in public to "act" on your behalf. Then we have that inner person who is somewhat like that mental image however the inner you is the "relaxed and natural -when I'm home with the family or out with the girls" "you". Hmph, we do a good job of "multi-tasking" our personalities don't we? The thing is there's one more level to that...there's the real you. The person who is consumed by all of the other pieces and has to crazy glue the fragments of the shattered emotions that your "mental picture person" couldn't handle.

I was disappointed because when I looked back over some of the words that I shared I could see the very point that my hope had a stroke and the heart monitor began to display weak signs of life. I saw how deeply affected I was by circumstances and situations and how I allowed them to throw me off track. I could see where I lost my voice and began to plan to give the sign to "pull the plug". Yes, at a certain point I let go a little. I stopped fighting. I was so overwhelmed by my reality that my faith had grown weary and weak. I became this feeble minded person that I don't even recognize. 

The humorous side to all of this is that at a certain point I literally thought my page had been hacked because "surely these were not my words".

So, family and friends, as I prepare to close out the 31^st year of my life here is (some of) what introspection has taught me…

1.        I simply can not do this alone. God has blessed me with some wonderful friends that I could not have picked for myself. Thank you to each of you that have held me accountable, encouraged me, prayed for me, challenged me, let me cry, let me be real without ever judging me and most importantly without walking away.

2.        Pride has no place in my process. Strength is revealed through your ability to accept the truth of your situation, breathe through whatever emotion it presents, accept whatever responsibility you have in it and DEAL WITH IT appropriately.

3.        Faith is not something I feel, it’s something I KNOW! Feelings are futile and even when I don’t feel good about my process my confidence has to be in the promise of my future. Heck, if our lives were determined by how we felt about everything we’d all be doomed.

4.        Everything that I can do for someone else I CAN do for myself. My talents, resources, skills, knowledge, and abilities do not only work when I’m working for someone else…they work for me too! (Don’t act like you haven’t been in that place where you can work magic for EVERYBODY ELSE, but when it comes to producing those results for yourself you act like you don’t know what to do. Ok, fine…keep looking like you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

5.        You can have all the talent in the world, but if you DO NOT BELIEVE IN YOUR TALENT your success will go no further than the couch! (And that’s all I have to say about that!)

If you have some time I encourage you to pull your own social networking timelines…I guarantee you you’ll learn some things about yourself. I’d love to hear about them ;-)

T Minus 8 Days...

I don't have a lot to say today. My plans to accomplish a list of tasks didn't quite turn out that way, but I enjoyed my day. In fact, I think I enjoyed it so much that I forgot what day it was. At around 8pm I'm rushing in the house to the television to turn on the game *screeeeeeeech* uhhhh, IT IS NOT SUNDAY!

I hope that everyone has enjoyed their Saturday. At some point I hope that you were able to bring a smile to someone's heart and that your heart was warmed by the feeling of kindness. Maybe tomorrow I'll have more...until then...

Peace and blessings.

P.S. Please feel free to comment on any of the posts or email me your feedback. I would love to hear from you.

T Minus 9 days - Sometimes you have to go back to your roots....

When you need refreshing, uplifting, a reality check...when you need to feel at home, challenged, motivated...sometimes you have to go back to your roots. When things seem to not be going quite right...you're frustrated, tired, and at the point of throwing your hands up....sometimes you have to go back to your roots.

Your roots...that place where you first experienced peace and joy. That place where you realized that you were at your best when you were there. That place that assures you that all may not be well right now but EVERYTHING IS going to be ALRIGHT.

Church is that place for me. My refuge, my fresh shower, my divine massage....and the service that I just attended was JUST what I needed.

Whatever your "roots" place is, when you find yourself in need of that refueling...find it and do not pass go...do not collect $200! I hope that everyone who reads and follows this blog understands that my heart's desire is that everyone be encouraged by something that is read here. All of these words I have lived in some way and I hope that by peering into the "peep hole" of my life you are able to clearly see through the window of your own.

Peace and blessings to you all and thank you for following. Please continue to share with your friends and loved ones...who knows these may be a New York Times Best Seller! (*hint hint)


(*this was posted after midnight, but serves as Friday's post)

T Minus 10 Days!!!! - Labor Pains

I am finally back from my "Florida Tour". Back in South Florida and ready to get on the grind. I recently made some very good connections and had a ginormous creative streak to come over me (thanks to a simple prayer for motivation and 2 God-sent friends) so I am switching my focus from my recent defunct stupor to my "I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me" "get it done" attitude that I normally have when I take on a huge challenge. AND THIS ONE IS HUGE. I can't wait to tell you all about it!

It's funny how when we are in a place where we feel like we don't have enough, or we aren't educated enough, or we aren't tall enough, aren't pretty enough, aren't talented enough....or whatever measure we feel like we don't have enough of...it is in those times when we can come up with some of the greatest ideas that draw on that very place of LACK. And for those of us who are "believers" we know that it's usually those very areas that GOD will require the most of us. HA! Oh, the irony of life.

In the midst of those times where our focus can become a little jaded by our experience we have to bear down and push towards the goal that we have declared as ours. What I have had to learn about the birthing process is that the first sign that you are ready to deliver the baby that you have carried, nourished, cried for, prayed for, laid out plans - picked the best name - decorated the room – bought cute little clothes for, gained 20 pounds for, ate food that you hate for over the past 40 weeks…is the pain and pressure of contractions. This isn’t the time to hold back or shut down, this is the critical moment…the time to give it all you’ve got, call in your “birthing team” to hold your legs and help you breathe because the moment you have been waiting for IS HERE. To shut down at this point would be dangerous and detrimental to the baby’s life as well as yours.

Your birthing process may be quick and easy or long and rough but one must endure the PROCESS in order to deliver the promise. If we quit pushing, stop breathing, and give up we will never experience the joy of the fruits of our labor. So...take a deep breath...bear down...and PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH-PUSH….this one may be the last one!

My Birthday Wish List

14 days to go! *Does the Cabbage Patch* 

Ok, so most everybody knows that last year marked my 30th year of life! I had been planning for that day since I turned 21. I had my theme, the location was set, I had picked out my party dress, met with the caterers....then I canceled everything! Yes, the day I had been waiting for had been trumped by something else. See, in December 2009 when I went to New York to see the ball drop and ended up not getting to see it because arriving at 10:30pm with the hopes of being behind the zany crowd of drunken tourists turned out to be a bit of a stretch. I mean who would think that the streets had been shut down since like 8 o'clock?!?! Well, at that very moment I made a vow to myself that I would not miss out on anything else that I really wanted to do.

So when it came time for my birthday, the opportunity to work an event hosted by Mary J Blige totally trumped spending an evening with people that I get to see on a regular basis. It would've been fun and all, but this was one of those "once in a lifetime" opportunities and for a person trying to make it in the industry, it would have been STUPID not to do it. So yes, I took the money that I was going to spend and flew to New York to spend an evening amongst some of the industry's greatest talent and highly respected public figures. IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, that said...I still want to celebrate my 30th birthday. So here we are a year later...and I'm having my postponed 30th birthday celebration! I will be celebrating with family and friends from the 16th - 20th at some of my favorite places in the South Florida area. This is not an official invite, but if you are interested in attending please contact me (*whispering* it's going to be a great time! *school girl giggle*)

In the spirit of celebrating me I am listing a few things that I want for my birthday. This is simply my effort to put into the atmosphere what I am hoping for. This is not a formal request to you as readers of this blog...ALTHOUGH any and all gifts are welcome and may be delivered (2217 SW 118th Ave, Miramar, FL 33025) or monetary gifts may be given via PayPal (email address: shante9716@aol.com)!

1. A total of $1200 - Let me tell you why. I have the opportunity to work the American Black Film Festival this year and I am responsible for my own housing for 6 days on Miami Beach. This is another one of those "Last year's Mary J Blige event, Bucket List, You MUST do this" opportunities. (By the way if you have a hotel hook up PLEASE let me know!)
   
   
   
   
   
2.  A day at the Spa - An hour massage w/ a Vichy Shower at Uhma Spa in Miami (http://www.uhmaspa.com/)
   
   
   
   
   
3. Maya Angelou's Great Food All Day Long Cookbook
   
   
   
   
   
4. A really good surprise...NO ONE has ever been able to surprise me EVER! So I would like to have a nice surprise this year. Maybe a visit from an old friend, a sunset boat ride, a shopping experience, a trip to one of my favorite cities....I don't know...I just want to see if someone can surprise me. LOL!
   
   
5. Perfume - Ed Hardy the lighter Pink Bottle, DKNY Be Delicious (Green), Shi
   

Countdown...15days

*Wipes Brow* Whew!!!! So this time I haven't written because I have had A LOT going on. I'm finally catching my breath a bit AND it's 15 days until my big day so I wanted to check in with you.

I recently attended one of the most beautiful Wedding Ceremonies I think I have ever been to in my life. My former roommate used to tell me all the time about weddings like this, but even that didn't prepare me for what I experienced. It was my first REAL African Wedding, not an "African motif" or "African themed wedding" but a REAL African Wedding. My friend and his bride are from Nigeria (as was my former roommate).

This 2-day event included a traditional Nigerian ceremony known as the Engagement Ceremony. Although I have NO EARTHLY IDEA what was said ALL NIGHT (except Praise the Lord, Hallelujah, and Congratulations), I do know they had a GREAT time and partied hard because my sister and I left them still on the dance floor after midnight with at least 3 more items on the program. Technically this event (in their culture) is their wedding, however the second day was a traditional wedding ceremony with a Nigerian remix.

Everyone was dressed in very rich colors. There was color coordination for each family as well as friends. And somewhere there was a money tree I promise...and I'm not talking about the tree that you go pin your dollar bills on as your "gift" to the couple. In the Nigerian culture (maybe all African cultures do this, but I'm just going to play it safe and stick to what I KNOW) when the couple dances family and friends shower them with money. There are people who danced around them with bags that they filled up with the money that fell to the floor around them, then the money was collected in boxes - counted - and *ding* the blessed couple can now take the next year off and never miss a beat! Hey, they're a very generous group of people too...I got a couple of dollars as we did the Wobble to one of the African songs that was played!


Overall it was a great weekend. I saw some friends that I hadn't seen in years. Had some great food. Learned a lot. And had a great time. They say blondes have more fun though! (Yes, that is me with Blonde hair..LOL!)

After that it was on to the next event...my nephew's graduation from High School. *Breaks open the box of kleenex* It was so surreal. My little A.J....graduating. WOW! Time really does move pretty fast and I guess I know how people feel when they look at me now that I've grown up. I'm so proud of him though. He's one of my favorite people on earth. I still can't believe he is about to go to college. *Sniff sniff*

In the midst of all of this celebration there were a few tragic things that happened that I won't go into detail about, but I will say this...LIFE GOES ON. Usually it's all up to you how you proceed. After the celebrations are over, caskets are closed, curtains have come down...there is more life to live beyond that moment. CHOOSE LIFE! 

Forfeiture vs. Defeat

Yes, I am behind on my posts. Sooooo, maybe I over committed a little when I said I would post every day. LOL. Honestly, I have tried to keep up with it. But I seem to have this mental laryngitis that has invaded my mind and stifled my "voice". As much as I have wanted to write, I have stared at the blank screen night after night with nothing to give. I have wanted to give some offering of encouragement, or sentiment of humor, or thought provoking power statement...but I have not come up with anything.

Have you ever been that way? You start out with good intentions and then along the way you start to lose momentum, you get frustrated with your lack of ability to produce the results you desired, and ultimately you turn your attention to something else leaving your task incomplete. Yep, by definition...YOU GIVE UP!

It's very easy to give up on something when you haven't invested a lot into it; but when you have sacrificed at times your very livelihood, lost sleep & weight, and your bank account's balance has been $0.95 for a month (*Praise Break for it not being negative*)...your only choice is to keep fighting because giving up seems to be a lot worse than losing to your opponent. To be defeated you have to at least have been in the fight. When you forfeit it's like looking at your opponent from across the ring seeing their 6 foot-everything stature to your 5 foot-nothing frame and determining you don't stand a chance...so you don't even get in the ring, you simply throw in the towel.

Defeat is a sign that you threw some punches, hit-or-miss; you may have been knocked down a couple of times but you showed resilience and got back up; you talked cash trash right down to the end and stood flat footed with confidence to boldly declare "the only way I'm going out is on a stretcher!" Yes, when you are in a fight for your purpose, your passion, your destiny...your very life is on the line.

Forfeiture on the other hand is the easy way out. You don't even have to try hard to forfeit...you simply don't show up and that is assumed for you. There is no accountability in forfeiting. And when you forfeit, all you will have wasted is the time it took to prepare for the fight, your reputation (which may not be able to be redeemed), your entire savings account, and (not that it really matters...) your pride.

Well, I'm putting my atmosphere on notice...I'm not giving up! I am determined to fight in every round until I win or I die!

*Ding* Next Round...

Rewind....

So today I was a little overwhelmed with life...(stop rolling your eyes, we all get there at some point). But as I reviewed some of my previous posts in preparation for this one I was so encouraged by one that I had to post it again. After reading this and watching Beyonce' perform on last night's awards, I know that there's so much more left in me and I must press because...

Goodness is Free, but GREATNESS will cost you!

In our individual “Pursuit of Happiness” how many of us are willing to go to extreme lengths for the possibility of success? Can you go a day or two or five without eating… surviving solely on your drive and the calories in the free coffee offered in the public library; which also happens to be the place where you are the overnight janitor? Could you stay up studying until 3am knowing that you have to be up at 5 if you’re to be on time to catch the train since the “Repo’ Man” came to visit last month? And by the way, the studying that you are doing is from the books that line the shelves of the library where you’re the overnight janitor; and those 2 hours of sleep are obtained on the floor between fiction and non-fiction since last week was the date of your eviction. In an effort to breathe the vapors of success are you willing to downsize your life, going from a guaranteed source of income to a part time hustle and an internship?

Just how far are you willing to go to get to where you are going?

To be good at something you simply have to have a nice combination of skill and knowledge. To be great at something you have to want it as bad as you want your next breath; be willing to push through the pain as you bear the weight of your goal stretching the muscle of hope; and know that while you wipe the tears of discouragement with one hand you have to keep fighting the battle with the other. Oh, and you also need a nice combination of skill and knowledge.

You see the illusion of success is that it is limited to those with great pedigree, education, or just plain luck. The reality is that success is limitless and can be attained by all who are vested in its reward. Add to that the belief that what God has for you is for you, and you can EXPECT nothing less. 

See you tomorrow...

Closer

Often times when we are in the midst of transition or pursuing something new we become overwhelmed by the hurdles and challenges that we face along the way. I know all too well what it’s like to have your dreams before you and feeling as though everything around you is working against you.

This past year I have had some of the greatest learning experiences of my life. I have seen similar days and times, but never have I been in such a state where I was constantly feeling like I was outside of myself. At times even feeling as though I had no earthly idea who the heck I was. Why you say? Because I have been simply evolving into this being that I see in my dreams, can describe so vividly, am intimately connected to and have longed for since my creation…but for so long thought I could never become.

I used to think it was about my profession, my career, my financial status, my geographic location, my pedigree…but I am confident now more than ever that it is about my effort to live my God-given purpose. The greatest thing that one can ever do is leave behind their fears to die in the fire of passion that fuels your hope. Sure, I am still trying to establish that career that I desire to have, and I still believe that I was born to live in New York, and everyone wants to have financial stability…and I know that it is because of the sacrifices that I have made thus far that I am closer than I have ever been before to having those things.

I have a “can’t stop, won’t stop” mentality…and I am determined to make it!

See you tomorrow!

Countdown Day 2

There are no coincidences when you know that GOD has a divine plan for your life. 

Even though you may not understand the place you find yourself in 

you can bet your bottom dollar that every experience, every triumph, every trial 

is a strategic part of your purpose. 

The Countdown is on...

The countdown is on…30 days until the day that God’s creation and His timing lined up with the stars of purpose and appointment and the Universe became enhanced by the presence that is me. YES…it’s my birthday! *Does the Dougie* Whoop! Whoop!

Now, as I reflect on the past year of my life I’m looking in the mirror asking myself “uhhhh, is this really your life?”

Many of you have followed as I have posted, tweeted, and blogged about the various triumphs and challenges that I have experienced throughout the year. (Thank you by the way. Your support has been extremely encouraging.) Well over the next 30 days I will be submitting an entry every day reflecting and preparing for my new year. I’ll be making new declarations, candidly sharing some of the struggles that I have faced, and giving you a sneak peak at my plans for the coming year.

Grab your popcorn, your soda (some of you may need something a little more stiff *shrugs*…I’m just saying), your sour patch kids, and you just might wanna grab some tissue (you know…just in case you identify a little too much with some of my experiences)…I’m going live for the next 30 days.

See you tomorrow!

A Love-Hate Relationship

The relationship that we have with our money is one that we don’t often think about. We don’t notice how we treat it or evaluate our thoughts in dealing with it. We often talk of what we would do with it if we had more, rarely including any form of giving or charity but most often reflecting our pure selfish desires. Someone once said the way that you treat your money is an indication of how you feel about yourself. (Just say ouch…right??) We haven’t all been blessed with [even the remnants of] Oprah’s bank account where we can afford to take 300 + people on international vacations…and that’s not important. What’s important is that we are able to lead life with the same type of heart; that we value the little things and learn how to bless those around us. We are better people because of our heart to do for others.

I was listening to the song Billionaire (Travie McCoy feat. Bruno Mars) and it prompted me to write this (somewhat humorous but very serious) letter to my bank account. I’m not saying you should take to writing your own, I’m just asking…have you thought about your relationship with your money?

Dear bank account,

Over the years we have had a very trying relationship. I have not always kept the promises that I made in the beginning although my intentions were always good. I admit that at times I was very selfish and I took from you to satisfy a frivolous desire when you really just wanted to make sure that I was taken care of long term. And for that I say thank you.

I know that at times I put you at risk and then threw a fit because my irresponsibility jeopardized us both. Even when I thought I could avoid hurting you by creating a diversion so that by the time you felt the blow of my open hand the flowers would have already arrived…the flowers would arrive too late.

So I pen this letter to you today to apologize for my years of habitual abuse and to say that I have matured tremendously. I now can respect your intentions and see how our goals truly do mirror each other. I see you as more than just a safe place but as a partner in my life, my teammate who will continue to work to achieve the goals that we set together and will put in overtime to support my personal endeavors. I did not know how to appreciate your generosity and I am truly remorseful that I wasted so many good years with you.

As we move forward I want you to know that my desire is to fill your vessel with abundance so that together we can open up our arms to hopefully help others to achieve the stability that we have. Now don’t get me wrong, we will have fun along the way spending quality time alone. I can see us now strolling along the Bahamian Beaches, snorkeling in Samoan waters, taking in the culture of International Coasts and satisfying our soul’s desires. Together let’s make a name for ourselves as the duo that made a difference. I don’t want to keep our riches to just us…let’s supersede the charitable efforts of even Donald Trump (but let’s not tell anyone).

I’m so excited about and hopeful for our future. Thank you for hanging in there with me. 

Peaks & Valleys

So after I wrote the last post I experienced a calm that was truly divine. Much like a father does, it was like God let me have my little tantrum while all the while He was preparing a blessing for me. As I went through the next week and a half I also realized something about myself…I AM A CHRONIC OVER ACHIEVER.

*Gasp* *Waits for the crowd to settle*

YES! I am constantly looking for more from myself so much so that I will flat out have anxiety about the slightest things. I mean, I literally could stress over choosing the right type of red cocktail napkin for a Super Bowl Party. In my effort to be the best and do my best I can often stress and become a bystander damaged by my own emotions.  

In those times when we find ourselves getting discouraged, overwhelmed, upset, anxious, etc. we have to learn how to take a step back and see a situation for what it is. It is natural for us to experience stress at some point, but sometimes our emotions are not warranted. Knowing when to let go, walk away, or just simply be still is just as important and essential as your zeal to succeed. Some things work themselves out and your stressing over them won’t change anything other than your blood pressure.

And honey…IT IS SO NOT THAT SERIOUS!

The journey that we are on to live out our purpose comes with some peaks and valleys that could possibly make the Grand Canyon look like flat terrain. But your ability to endure, embracing and learning from every mistake along the way, is what keeps you climbing. After a while you will realize that your current position is the peak of your last valley…and in looking back you’ve already accomplished greatness just by staying on the path.

Learn to celebrate your little victories along the way. If you waited until you reached your mountain top to pat yourself on the back your focus will only be on the fact that you made it to the top thereby overshadowing the fact that you weathered a storm, conquered a fear, learned a new skill, sacrificed your very life, gained strength, developed confidence, and overcame that looming habit of giving up. Each step has been a victory that makes the accomplishment of reaching your final destination intimately divine and full of purpose.

  So go ahead….take the next step. 

 

A Moment of Transperancy

Hey everybody!

Just wanted to check in and give you an update. This candid, unscripted, unedited version of my journey is brought to you by pure emotion and is underwritten by trial and circumstance.

Today I'm tired. I simply want to throw in the towel. I have lost more than I wanted to lose, I have given more than I've had to give, I have sacrificed on credit...I'M DONE! Yes, the optimistic, motivational, inspirational...I'll go at all costs - ME is having a moment. The tears flow even as I type these words.

What's wrong you say?

I am in a place that we have all found ourselves at times. I'm on the road of promise...clearly the light is green yet I'm stuck in the middle of the intersection on reality boulevard and the gas in my vehicle of hope is on "E". The whole time I'm sitting here praying for two things 1) that I don't give out of gas before I can cross the street and 2) that whatever is blocking me will move before the light changes and I get plowed by the unyielding Stress Utility Vehicle that keeps blowing it's horn at me.

So what do I do? I start blowing my "horn" in frustration (as though that's really going to solve anything). But as I do, I also whisper a prayer...

Lord, please help me to hold out. If I can just get past this road block...please God, don't let my hope fail. Honestly, I'm afraid and I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but I'm trusting You to help me endure.

A lot of people don't like to talk about how frightening and unsure, lonely and disappointing this process can be. But allow me to bless you with the truth...opportunity not only costs, it's EXPENSIVE; and most times it comes at the expense of all that is SURE in your life. Everything becomes muddled and you have this looming sense of falling into the black whole of failure.

I'm still determined though. Just thought I'd give you a bit of truth to let you know I'm still human.

Live Your Life

The freedom to just be is the kryptonite to anxiety. Seek it…find it…embody it.

We often worry about what others will say or how they will feel; but we rarely will first think about the liberty in just being real. We associate the consequence of judgment and rejection here all too often. When the fact of the matter is that it’s all a part of life and simply put you will not be able to please everybody all the time. Your primary goal in life should be to live out your purpose by design. As you move forward and grow you will quickly realize this infallible truth…life has a funny way of teaching you the things that matter the most.

Who Are You?

It’s a sad and very dangerous thing for a person to experience or suffer from the effects of amnesia, dementia or Alzheimer’s. The majority of our lives are built upon what we are able to remember. So quite naturally the inability to identify with who you really are, remembering all of what happened in 1975 and none of what happened 20 minutes ago, can be frightening when you’re lost in your own home. This can be frustrating and devastating for not only the affected person but their family, friends, co-workers and other acquaintances as well. No one is exempt from suffering and life changes for EVERYONE.

Definitely not to make light of these distressing illnesses in any form, but these same effects can plague one who has disassociated themselves with their true inner being. (Stay with me, it’s not as book-wormish as it sounds.) As a result of bad experience or traumatic incident…surgeons have traded their scalpels for lawn mowers, musicians have traded their instruments for aprons, executives have traded Wall Street for a classroom…abandoning the passion that drives their very being. A paralyzing fear of failing or not measuring up to the expectation of others can cause us to “forget” who we are and in turn exile ourselves to the island of “there has to be more to life than this”.

There is! But you gave it up because you punked out! You had a few bad experiences and you ran away. You allowed yourself to be bullied and became overcome by the appearance of rejection instead of standing up and taking your rightful place in the forefront to do what you know how to do, what you love to do, what you were created to do. Then when given the opportunity to “get back in the game” you “FORGET” that you are GREAT and instead fall to the back embarrassing yourself and disappointing those who KNOW you are more than capable. (Which by the way does not help anybody, in fact; it frustrates you and angers those who have to deal with you.) So am I saying that you should seek to please people? NO! I’m saying that you should seek to fulfill your purpose…ON PURPOSE...BOLDLY and with CONFIDENCE!

It doesn’t matter what anyone else knows or believes to be true about you until you KNOW WHO YOU ARE FOR YOURSELF.

Past failures are the stepping stones to greatness. If you never failed how would you ever know when you did something right?

Running from your past perpetuates the pain of the experience; learning from it is the key to being able to move forward and be the great being that you were created to be.

So go ahead…return to Pride Rock ;-)

Ready, Set, Go!!!

So we’re two weeks into the New Year, some of us have “fallen off the wagon” already with the New Year’s Resolutions that were set with such empty promise; some of us have gotten off to a slow start with refocusing our lives and setting goals for the year; some of us are energized and are experiencing incredible momentum and some of us have not even begun to put a plan in motion for maximizing the year. Which lane on the race track are you in? The good thing about this “race” is that you are only competing against yourself and you can stop for training, conditioning, or a complete rerouting at any time.

This is definitely a time where one MUST be proactive and learn to seize EVERY OPPORTUNITY that comes along. In fact, often times the only opportunities that are guaranteed are the ones you create…so don’t be afraid to MAKE IT HAPPEN. Exercising your creativity is what will open many of the doors that you will walk through.

There will be times when you may be required to evaluate something about your personality or even your character. A key to being successful is being able to accept criticism, correction and credit. No one ever does EVERYTHING right and once you acknowledge and accept your perfectly imperfect nature you will be able to accept these three a lot easier. Coming from the right source (with the right motive) these can all be empowering, however they can also be detrimental when the source is using them with the precision of a Sniper to take you out. Always remain open and flexible, if for no other reason than to be able to dodge the bullet of discouragement that can come to challenge you and make you want to give up.

Set backs are to be expected as well. Just when you think you have “found your footing” something can come along to shake you. RECOVER. Respect the shift, even if it comes at the expense of ALL that you have worked so hard to achieve. Know that NOTHING JUST HAPPENS and the divine plan working in the background is always working in our favor. RECOVER. Don’t allow what appears to be a failure to cause you to walk away from your destiny.

Most importantly NEVER allow another person to determine your worth. If you don’t know your value you can easily be taken by the lowest bidder. Respect and honor those who have “gone before you”, but don’t compromise your being for what appears to be opportunity. There will be others that don’t come at the price of your mental/emotional stability. Balance is essential in the relationships that we maintain. No one controls who or what you become other than you.  

Remember “slow and steady” wins the race…be consistent, be loyal, be committed, and ENDURE!

Happy New Year!

*Tosses confetti & blows gazoo* 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Are you excited about 2011?!?!?!

Last year really taught me a lot about the power of perseverance. After employing the things that I have written about (Commanding destiny through declarations, expecting greatness, living on purpose, giving thanks, embracing new beginnings) I had the best year of my life. Yes, of my life.  

As we welcome the New Year and we all purpose to “turn over a new leaf” here are some things to consider putting into action. Actively subscribing to them can truly make a difference in you reaching your goals.

1. Find a Mentor – Yes, even as adults you NEED a mentor. There is always someone who can add to your life and challenge you to grow. Often times this is more than one person as they may fill different roles (i.e. professional mentor, personal mentor, Spiritual mentor).
2. Make a vision board – A vision board is a visual collage of those things that you desire to see manifest in your life. Not the superficial house, car, husband/wife type stuff but rather the burning soulful desires that you have…those things that you can see for yourself in your dreams and when you think of them your heart begins to race. Keeping those things in a place where you have to see them every day gives you a sense of accountability and motivation.
   
   
3. Daily Declarations – Along with the concept of Vision Boarding comes verbally declaring each day what you desire to possess in all areas of your life. This is usually a foundational declaration that spans all aspects and may not be specific, but may be coupled with specific desires. Making this declaration daily is a demonstration of the power that we have to set our atmosphere. (See previous post “What Are You Saying” & “Great Expectations”)
   
   
4. Be Intentional – Always live on purpose. When you set out to do something know what it is that you want from that experience and seek that. Don’t waste time flirting around with possibilities…go for them or move on to the next thing. However, be mindful to enjoy your journey.
   
   
5. Take Calculated Risks – Challenge yourself to move beyond complacency and comfort. Sometimes you have to be uncomfortable for a moment in an effort to obtain that coveted goal. Count up the costs, make your plan and move forward. Sitting back paining over it will only result in you not doing anything…MAKE THE PLAN AND DO IT!