Nobody tells you when you get ready for major transition in your life “brace yourself, it gets lonely out there”. I mean we’ve heard it before, but usually only in theory. The truth of the matter is it is a harsh reality. Loneliness can get the best of you when you are taking on a great change in your life. Be it a new job, a new school, moving out for the first time, taking a journey across the globe, or moving to a big city with more options than you count where so much is going on that surely the thought of being lonely is preposterous...brace yourself you are not exempt.
As I traipse around this city and build my life I have had some absolutely awesome times. But I admit that the loneliness hit hard. I wasn’t ready to pack up and head home by any means, but I realized that while I was walking around in the midst of all of these people I WAS ALONE. I felt like the new girl in school, awkwardly walking about trying not look out of place, waiting for the lunch bell to ring to meet up with at least one familiar face. As the days turn to weeks and the weeks have now exceeded a month, I meet new people just about everyday and slowly the loneliness fades.
I'm still finding my footing, but I can definitely say that this move was in no way a mistake. Have you ever just “felt” good about something? I mean you just knew with everything in you that this was “the right thing”. Moving to New York has been that thing for me.In fact, in the words of my friend, I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment. Before leaving Florida I just knew that this was the time for me to be here. I didn’t know what was so different about now than all the years that I wanted to be here before other than “it just feels right”. And that has proven to be overwhelmingly true. I am enjoying the journey, learning my way around (I still get on the wrong train every now and then) and learning more and more about myself each day.
In the short time that I've been here I have been able to accomplish more than I could over the past year in Florida. It has been one opportunity after another since the day I arrived. A true testament that “when you truly want something the universe conspires to help you achieve it” (if you have not read the Alchemist I STRONGLY suggest you do so QUICKLY). I have taken some pretty uhhh, let’s just say “interesting” risks in my approach, but God has been faithful and the doors are opening. My focus is different, my attitude is positive, my mind is open and I’m moving forward.
Can I just whisper something to you though? I’ve been waiting to tell someone this so I thought I would share it with you. It’ll be our little secret *WINK*. Despite the occasional loneliness and a few “mistakes” here and there...I am the happiest I have been in my adult life.